Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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