She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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