Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
