Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
