FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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