I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
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Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
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Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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