apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
