adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
