I'm so fucking centered right now
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
