that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
