i dedicated my morning wood to you.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
