It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
