swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
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I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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