I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
