Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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