sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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