okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Four minutes until I can fart!
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
