remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
