a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
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you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
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They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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