I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize