By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
