dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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