Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
