How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Randomize
