why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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