Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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