I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
