I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
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