i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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