i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
