is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
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