Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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