Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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