So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
