you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
