and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
