I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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