i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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