Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
