I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
