yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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