There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
