I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
