drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
