I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
