In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
