hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
