i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize