i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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