i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
