Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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