Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize