We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
