Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
whose ass print is on the piano?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Randomize
