i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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