I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
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