just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
