Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
