Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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