i just wanna soil my oats bro
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
