What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
