I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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