HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
