last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I have feelings that need drinking.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
