why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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