Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
They have beer where we have blood.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
