to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I need a burrito and a hug.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
