Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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