I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
